Being a mom is hard.
Being a wife is hard.
Being a teacher is hard.
Being a friend is hard.
Being a leader is hard.
Being a daughter is hard.
Being a housekeeper is hard.
So, this is where I find myself now. In the middle of a mess. A beautiful mess, as I have heard described elsewhere.
At times, I feel pretty impressed with my ability to keep my children somewhat respectful, somewhat clean, somewhat self-controlled...then, there are times when their behavior is a crystal clear picture of the sinful nature we all have exploding for the world to see. The boys are just like me, only I am usually able to repress my selfish instincts a bit better than they are currently. As a mom, it is a daily challenge to love them just as powerfully when they are naughty as when they are doing something that makes me gleam with pride. In perspective, I must remember that it is only the Lord working through the influences in their lives that allows goodness to show through. There is a not a magic formula or set strategy to insure their choices are always good or that they will never find themselves in some horrible consequence as a result of their actions, but as parents we press on following the only example of parenthood that never failed. God's sacrificial love of Jesus. Lord, help me to know Your ways and how to best lead Alex, Max, and Cruz in them.
My poor husband. He assures me that he does not see it this way, but I neglect him. My attention is so divided, even when we are speaking on the phone or face to face at times. Speaking of sacrificial love, Shaun is just short of an expert in it! Because of his willingness to work into the wee hours of the mornings or through the afternoons literally caged into the 6x6 kitchen, our family is able to flourish. Being in the ministry, we will never be rich by earthly standards, but the rewards he is storing up in heaven are numerous.
