Still waiting

So, through prayer, God has changed my heart and transitioned my worry and concern to anticipation as I await baby #3.  There in lies the problem.


Now, I cannot wait to meet this baby.  My impatience level is through the roof.


Logically, I know that any time I have left to wait now is minimal compared to the nine months I have carried this little one inside, but at this point of the waiting game, it seems like an eternity looking forward to the possibility of up to two weeks until I meet Zoe or Cruz. 


Every little flip or jab makes me hopeful that the baby is preparing to come, but not yet does the little guy or gal want to give me a true sign that I should call Shaun and prepare to go to the hospital.  I am so ready! 


As crazy as it sounds, I am bored.  Our house is still dirty; the "baby" room is still occupied by Alex; the basement/garage is still a dumping place for random junk; etc...but I am ready to meet this little one.  I have not been sleeping and know that the time would be much more meaningful if I was rocking/feeding a newborn rather than making another trip to the restroom or flipping this big belly over to the other side of the bed. 


Not complaining.  I know that for everything there is a time and a season under heaven, so I am doing my best to find things to keep me busy and distract myself.  Yesterday, I cleaned the cabinet and drawer fronts in the kitchen.  The day before that I went to five stores (plus how many ever stores we went into at the mall) just because I was trying to walk and be out of the house. 


So, I wait.  Sincere, heart-felt, deep prayers have been sent up by me and on my behalf.  The timing is the Lord's alone.  Shaun had a great thought that it is so neat that God already knows this child's birthday.  He has selected the specific date and time for he/she to arrive.  What an amazing thought!  Let me focus on that miracle and the amazing person inside of me rather than the impatience that seems so overwhelming.  Help me, Lord, to change my focus.  (but, let me add another sincere request that this baby's birthday is soon, even tonight...I really want to meet the new little one and find out if it is Zoe or Cruz)


Thank you for the freedom to come to You with the desires of my heart.